Made in Heaven ! Well, almost ;)

I recently got to watch the new season of ‘Made in Heaven’ and loved the practical and pragmatic approach of the writer and director, very much like the previous season. The series perfectly explains how, we in a society of double standards, look at marriages. Also because of my own inner thoughts and ideas on marriages, I thought of writing something deep and intense. Something I have been thinking too much off late. 

I actually wanted to write in a storylike format with characters and their own views. But that would get personal :D Also the art of storytelling is missing and the intent stays alone, waiting for the perfect tone. Very soon maybe. 

Anyways,

We all believe in fairy tale weddings. Although we realise later that realities are quite different. Referring to the latest series ‘Made in Heaven’, which is a perfect example of how the nitty gritties of relations, society and complexities of human nature are actually laced very seamlessly in making of a perfect wedding- which is not so perfect BTW.

Well, in our teens, most of us, at least people of my generation were actually pretty sure of whom they wanted to marry. Because marriage, as kids, was seen as the purest of all relations( after mother child relation ) and perfect example of teamwork that we could see in our own houses. We saw our parents doing everything together, being there for each other and during those teens when our hormones peaked, biology made us really like someone and we ended up with our own Khayali pulao. Most of us ended up being with someone and in those moments of bliss: or how we call it first love, nothing else really mattered ! Those long distance calls, waiting all day to finally get to hear each other’s voices, telling each and every aspect of day: from hostel ke mess ka bura khana to singing that song in coarse husky voice, saving money to make those STD calls from telephone booths( golden era) with those sky high charges, planning every aspect of future as if its already into execution. Commitment  and assurance, promises of being there forever, and ever. It all was worth it. Well, almost !! ;) Because that’s life. And life has its own plan, no matter what your intentions are .

Some tried relaunching themselves into Dil Ka Bazaar open heartedly by exploring other possible options. They believed in moving on and for others, it was difficult. They did visualise their whole life with someone and altering it with a new person was  something they were still learning. They feared commitment and would end up friend-zoning the nearest possibilities :D

 Well, but this too has to happen at the right time. And when the marriage clock tickers, normally around late twenties, the second lot is directionless. It feels that the world around us is getting married, and probably we are all alone, fighting and surviving in jungles like Bear Grylls :) 

Cut to the D day, and the reality strikes: was that it ??All that period of heartbreak, emotional outbursts, even the biggest of impulsive decisions , that we took for love and not for love, would come to an end today with the final testimony? Well, probably yes, and we end up accepting life as it comes saying this was bound to happen, because Marriages are made in heaven. 

But are they really??? I don’t think so. All I know is that, with that time and love that your partner really deserves, and rather than looking at this as an extension of your life to creating a new life together, giving your time, sharing your dreams, talking childlike and reinventing yourself all over again, you definitely can create HEAVEN IN YOUR MARRIAGE. 

Midnight Music Musings :)

 For the love of writing , here I am :) I feel wonderful these days, for getting the privilege to do things I have always loved. Like dancing in rain like no one is watching with my kids. Writing just for the love of  it !!!  I was doing some random work and listening to songs of my era and I thought of writing about the same.

Specially when the world is dancing to the tunes of Jhumka ;) Like really ? How I miss those songs I grew up listening, and then the cute ones which accompanied in my early teens when every song was a feeling ! Like really :) And then early twenties, where heartbreak songs topped the list :P 

How music is such an important aspect of our life. It works parallel just like our own timeline. And in this age of mid life crisis, nothing new is acceptable and fails to add charm. All of us prefer living in our own times. Reason why our parents are still so connected to songs of their own generation !

Also I guess music has no language. And I can vouch for that because some of the most played songs during my stay in Chennai were in Tamil. And they are as close to my heart. Winds blowing, window seat of bus and a looong way, earphones tucked, butterflies inside, music was the biggest asset. Something that connected me to myself and to the world outside ! 

Signing off :)

 

For the joy of being 'Me' :)

 An ordinary day, same ordinary life ! Life has changed so much since I started writing this blog.

I was a carefree, an absolute carefree bird ! No responsibilities, no nuances. No reminders of setting limits. No worry of being the absolute calm and composed parent which is so unlike my free spirited and impulsive personality . Not that I don't like the role of being a parent. Sometimes its the identity crisis that gets difficult to deal with. And specially when you need to parent an equally free spirited and impulsive child, who is the king of his own life. Thanks to my younger one for keeping me on my toes though.

When I look back, I realise how important were those little moments of joy in my own life. How important were those decisions of finding joy in things I absolute believed in.  For leaving a good job and moving to a different city just because I loved coastal life and sun and beaches ! Staying near a beach even if I had to travel like 3 hours to and fro for office everyday. 

Connecting with people, kids on road, talking to them, understanding their perspectives. just  being in total self and absolute love with myself. 

Being totally responsible for my own flaws and for things that made me eccentric and beautiful in my own way. I was never an easy child to deal with, for the reasons of always standing out and choosing a different path ! 

I am a bird to the core who wants to fly as much as she can without restrictions, and yet I end up scolding my elder one for the same reasons. For being someone who believes in his own rules, and negating to follow what's told to be done !! 

This is kind of an introspective write-up . I need to understand my needs and his needs. People like us hate :  HATE being told to do things in a certain way. We want to be the creator of our own destiny. 

I guess its time for me to write a bit more, understand what I really was and let him also be what he really wants to be ! Its in the genes and going against him is like going against my own free spirited self. Which I have actually started doing a lot in these years. 

Looking forward to write more and connecting more with my inner self. One thing that made me stick to life in my gloomy times :)

Memories behind, life ahead !

Clueless ! don't know from where to start ! Well, that's not something I am not good at. But this time, its been over an year, and life has changed in all possible ways.

You change with time, situations. I thought, Ah, I proudly thought that I will probably end up going against nature. But well, that's not really possible & time managed to change me ! :)

Someone told me someday, 'we never know when we are making a memory'. Blame it on 'hey days' or my carefree nature, I never took these words seriously. Today, though, I value them. Not just value, I adore the essence, depth, meaning & the crux that lies inside them.

A lot can be written about life, and the more you write, the less it is. A journey, that's tough, yet so beautiful. Challenging, yet motivating. Tough, yet so simple. When I stop here at this moment & look back, I see hopes, dreams, challenges, faith, company, loneliness - all of them fulfilled & unfulfilled. There is this dialogue in one of the KJo movies which says: "yaadein mithai ke dibbe ki taraah hoti hain, ek baar khula to sirf ek tukda nahi kha paaoge". Truly said !

Good & bad thing about memories: they get framed in some corner of your mind, like forever & you can cherish/recall them whenever you want to. No humans act different. I do the same. Wonder though, if that's how it really should be.

In order to create more space in room, we vacate the old previous stuff. Memories shall be treated no different. In order to let new things come to you and stay with you in a healthy way, you need to delete the bad phase of old memories & keep the good phase at a corner somewhere, assigning it the least priority. Giving your utmost priority to new things, opportunities, people and even places, is probably the only way to live a happy & content life. Easy said than done. This holds true for me as well, because I am someone who actually lives in past & thinks about future most of the times. But trust me, this is my experience with life that I could actually fetch nothing fruitful out of it. 

Except a realization that only when you live in present, you actually start enjoying your life completely.

To be contd....




 

To the land of Idli, Filter Caafee and Rajinikanthism !

Ages ! I know. I really thought I would be able to do some sort of justice with my blogs, but then, I failed ! Reason: well, too many to write here. Crux: when life is in mess, blogs don't come into picture anymore. Mess, here by the way, is being referred to 'Chennai'. City that I thought will be the theme of this blog. City, that made me what I am today. City, that I would hate to love yet would love to hate :P

And city, thats no more in picture, anymore :)

But then, there is a sort of respect, you need to pay to the city that made you capable enough to pay for your bread and butter ( idli n dosa, in this case :P )

On a serious note, I owe this city a lot.  So much that this text box would be small for me to express all my feeling here. I guess a short n simple sign off, will do the trick though.

So, Chennai, A strange, simple and different city with its own pros and cons ofcourse. Its difficult to write if pros override cons or vice versa. Not that I dont know the answer, I am just learning to be a bit diplomatic now a days ;)

 Ask about Chennai from any north Indian (or a non south Indian precisely) and you get a red alert on three things: food, language and weather :) my version of Chennai will be quite similar on these 3 things. But then, every bad thing comes with something good hand in hand :)

Well, my initial phase here, was a tough one. A real tough one rather. Language. You know you are in trouble when you see everyone talking in the rhythm, same flow of words, in quite an aggressive tone, all of which goes over your head anyways.Inge waa..something something ;) Sapad ingla maa..nandri nandri ;)

Well, that was just the beginning. There was more to go. Food. I know almost all of us know cooking by this stage. But then, if you have good taste buds, you  feel like exploring different cuisines on weekends. I still wonder with the menu card though. Roti, chapati and phulka are three different things in Chennai. Difference, if you ask, is something still anonymous to me btw :)And how can I forget Chinese menu: chilly idli, chilli dosa, chilli vada ;) Yes, you read it right. That's Chinese for them :) But then, I guess we Indians, all of us, irrespective of region, are really good in this. We are capable of modifying any foreign cuisine according to our own needs, and calling it our very own 'Authentic' version :))  If they prepare rumali roti with dosa looks, we prepare sambhar in typical punjabi tadka maarke style ;)

Weather was not really a problem for me. I mean yes, its hot. But then, same goes for Delhi. And trust me, after september, its heaven :)

Now comes the good part. Chennai, I salute you for the way you show your sense of respect and responsibilities towards ladies and girls. I always felt , I am in safe hands, during my stay in Chennai. The way public transportation works in your city is truly commendable. Be it buses, trains or anything. Loved the beaches, and the areas around. Delhi is nowhere close when it comes to nature. Last but not the least, I salute your govt which has restricted movie tickets to Rs.120 ;)

As they say, if you have got good set of friends around, place is hardly a problem. True that is. I can count on some friends, who made this 3 years journey, a trip full of adventure, fun and frolic. Ujjawal, who was always there with his advices, humor and jokes :) Sushma, we both started the journey together and in between she landed somewhere in UK as Mrs. Birmingham :) Sushmitha, , Nitish, Nithya..office was fun with you guys. Dinesh, haha...when we both were into discussion, it started with blogs and books, reached music and used to end with it  hierarchy, monarchy and anarchy :P In short: managers, used to get hiccups ;)

So, all in all, it was an experience. Both good and bad. But then, worth it. Needless to say, I do miss Chennai at times, but then, the fact is, I missed my parents more, and that's the reason, I am here and feel privileged about it. Will come up with more stuff, very soon. Till then: Good bye :)

Money comes at a cost !

Hi. I see a good no of hits on my blogs now a days. And that surely motivates me to write more. And yes, I have a new dedicated reader, Nithya Selvi...a very good friend and a colleague, who is one such motivation ... Thanks Nithya :)

So, here I am :)) Confused about what to write and how to start. Have a vague idea but well, as usual, miss the right direction. Things have changed with time. My grand pa's favorite line. He will still remember how his salary was only some few rupees some 60 years back. And how they used to be so happy with whatever they used to get.

I completely agree. Infact, I always feel that the number of rooms in your house is inversely proportional to the happiness your life has. Well, may be because I know how it is to stay in a 1 room or 2 room house and still be happy about things in life :) Life is fun that way.

A small government quarter, with two small rooms, a big aangan, humid wet ceilings, fans running at the speed of a turtle and four of us. Heaven. Life was so well and organised. My brother and me would decide everyday to sleep in our own room, we will go, and start those scary ghost stories, and within one hour or so, whole colony will hear a sound 'BHAAAAGOOOO' and there we run, without looking anywhere else..straight to our parent's room. Finally, see, i told you, with four of us together,  life is heaven :))

Monday to friday, we had a proper time table, sticked near out study table . And both of us would religiously 'TRY TO' follow it ;) Saturday, we had to complete all our homework by evening. And then family time :) and there comes the D day. Sunday, no studies :) My dad beleived that there has to be a day without studies to recharge you for the week ahead. Sunday was a family/friends day. Either it was a family outing or I used to organise picnics with colony friends ( my dad still calls me Union leader :D ) So, we would dress up early morning, tell mom to prepare some good stuff, carry our bags and bottles and off for picnic :) I used to ride the cycle and my brother sitting behind was the one who used to give directions and keep a watch on the dogs ;) I was horrible with roads. I still am. Thanks to my defected eyes :D Nithya, if you are reading this, m sure you will agree on this part ;)

 Well , I just realised that I am going directionless again. But the point is, today, its different. Life today is mechanical. I come back from office, i cook,  i eat, i study, i sleep. I wake up. and follow the same routine. Oh yes, btw, how did i forget, i facebook in b/w. I am a facebook addict, but can't help, thats the only thing that keeps me connected to the happenings which i otherwise miss. Even if its my friend's wedding or my brother's latest crushes :D ;)  

And in return of this mechanical life, there is some monthly fixed amount that keeps coming in. Amount with which I can buy those expenses dresses which i never feel like buying anyways. Shopping, to some extent, irritates me on my own. Amount with which I can have some exotic cuisine in those french , italian resturants. But well, not all friends are available all the time, they have their own commitments, almost all the times ;)  ( my roomie, if by chance visit this link, is seriously going to kill me for this :P ) 

I just wonder at times, if the cost I am getting is seriously greater than the one I am paying for it ?  #signoff !!!

Mere begining !

New girl in the city. Well, after staying for more than 2 years in a city, I dont have the right to call myself new at all. But 'comparitively new girl in the city' won't suit at all.

Life is unexpected, and funny as well. I was 18 when I first visited this place with my parents. My dad was posted here for some months for an official assignment and we all came here for a short vaccation. Thats when I, oops, me and my mom, we both developed love for this city. Still remember those Tambram streets, that air force camp and that playground where my brother and me used to play cricket with other kids. That market where my mom used to go everyday to get flowers and stuff. Those T Nagar ice cream we used to bing on.

Even remember that sunday evening when we all were sitting at Marina beach where I could see a beautiful tall building. The beach and the building sparkling like diamond with those electrifing lights looked marvelous and charming altogether. And thats when I wished deep inside 'GOD! I MUST work here someday'.

Work for me was something else at that point of time. Not the kind of work I am doing right now :P I had plans of joining an NGO and then doing things for the betterment of society. Though, nothing has changed much even now. Thanks to 'Avvaya homes', a small group of educated people running orphanage and old-age home in Chennai. They are like a home away from home. Dreams will definately come true. I am just in that phase of empowering myself for some 2-3 years so that I can empower others later on.

But well, it was then, when that feel of being independent striked me somewhere. I was always more or less a dependent KIND OF kid since childhood. 'Kind of' because I was independent with my acts but permissions were granted from higher authorities - Maa & Paa ;) Not by choice though. Rather, it was more or less a need because of my dad's job and his posting in remote areas like Kashmir, Assam etc that made me and brother more of scheilded kids and my mom, an overprotective parent. Quite natural in a place where life started with al qaida and ended with hijbul mujahiddin :D

But the point is, at that point of time, when I was sitting @ the sea shore dreaming of my independence, somehow, Mr. GOD, for the first time in life, took my words, well really seriously. And here I am, in Besant Nagar: a suburb area of CHENNAI, named after one of the important members of Indian National Congress, Annie Besant. And well, this place has a beautiful beach n opposite to that is my flat, where I am writing this blog, less for others and more for myself. Well I have no clue about the audience of my blogs except one dedicated reader..Nishi :) n 2nd one..me n myself ;)

So, as I wished for some independence, it came to me, but with every good thing, comes the worst part hand in hand. Homesickness: especially when you are just too attached to your family, cooking food on your own, cleaning house, working , studying..as in everything on your own, is not as great as it appeals initially. There were times when I was directioneless, frustrated and told my parents to search a guy so that I can settle down. Then woke up my subconcious mind and asked if that is what I wanted from life. Being a techie is good but websites and newspapaers should not decide who is going to stand besides you in your good and bad times. And then said my concious mind, give time, things will change with time and I will get the one who is destined to be mine.

But life here is tough. real tough. And the worst part, you can not always show your loneliness to your parents, because once told, they will be much more worried than you are about it. Even though my parents will make sure to call me n number of times. 

But still 
at times, you need that warmth of your parent's touch and hug 
at times, you need your siblings to irritate you for those small lil things 
at times, you need your grand parents to talk to you for a while about their life 
And at times, you even need those chit chat silly stupid friends to gossip around 
P.S: How could i forget home cooked food btw :P I need so much of it. I can not cook anymore just for myself now :(

And I miss every bit of it. Though this place has given more than I ever asked for and taught me a lot about life. Though I definately love this city and the people here, more than my native. And though, for me, now its among one of the beautiful cities of the world, still, home is home. And I miss home. And on days when there are cyclones and chores.like today..I get scared and I miss my parents so much more :(

P.S: Nishi, Thanks for being a kind, patient and a true friend. And genuinely, thanks for tolerating me and my blogs. Waiting for your comments ;)